The real me is something the mass populace finds unacceptable. I've called myself trying other career pathes than this and all have resulted in social grease fires. Making the switch from ass whomping "i will fuck you up if you take anymore of my towels" linecook to cuddly boyfiend/girlfriend or even upstanding citizen can be a bitch. i find that people in this industry tend to be unable to explain the satisfaction they get from a good service or even picking up a knife and approaching a board. there is a confidence that exudes from me when behind a stove that exists no where else. when i'm rested and my knives are sharpened and ive got a 2 litre of Fresca in my meez and i'm ready and i'm fucking crunk. that is a feeling i only get from cooking. in public i'm just a really big, rude, un-explicably difficult mother-fucker who has problems dealing with authority and those outside of this family of outcasts.i believe Bourdain said it best."this is an industry that tends to draw in the 'fringe elements' of society." And despite the fact that somehow suddenly its "cool" to be a coke head, paint sniffing barely functioning social pariya who just happens to know how to wield a Global or sous vide a duck breast, i still love the life i lead. when it comes down to it for us there are cooks; and then there is everybody else.